Communication that really improves Relationships...

Communication is something we all know is necessary to keep any relationship strong and loving,

and although we are aware of the importance of communication,

we still seem to be clueless about what exactly good communication really is.

This does not mean you are clueless as a person, but it does mean that more attention is required on your part,

so that you can become more open and invite the many forms of communication that exist,

so that you will be able to understand yourself and your partner much better.

There is nothing that keeps a relationship healthy, better than understanding and once you start becoming more familiar with your communicating styles, as well as your partners,

you will be able to work better as a team in making the best of your relationship.

The first step in achieving better communication that will really work, is to take a look at you first.

People always tend to turn to their partner first when things are not running so smoothly in their relationship.

They automatically start pointing out what their partner is doing or not doing,

as well as how their partner is not listening to them.

This may all be true depending on your particular situation,

but it is important that you take the responsibility in reviewing your own actions and communication first,

before you can point anything out in your partner.

Remember, it is very easy to see other people's mistakes, but when it comes to looking at you,

it is much harder to accept criticism, even from yourself- because no one wants to be wrong.

This is where you need to get real about things.

Communication is not about who is right or wrong, but instead about helping each other see things from each other's perspective, so that you can be on the page and avoid any misunderstanding that will cause unneeded arguments.

Get winning out of your mind.

So many couples claim to have tried communication, but it does not seem to work.

If this is your case, then the best thing would be to slow down, calm down and take a few steps back.

Perhaps communication is not working for your relationship, but what method of communication are you using?

You see, communication itself cannot be the problem or the ineffective ingredient,

because communication is the main key to a healthy relationship, so it must be the way you and your partner are communicating.

When you or your partner talks to each other, do one or both of you talk to win the conversation,

or to actually reach a level of understanding of each other's needs and wants?

Believe it or not, it is very common for people to focus on being right and trying to convince their partner of seeing things their way, instead of just sharing what they think and feel so their partner can understand what they mean and what they need.

Listening is so important if you truly wish to accomplish good communication that will improve your relationship.

Are you really listening to what your partner is saying to you, or are you waiting to get things off you chest and make your points?

Listening may sound like an easy enough thing to do, but many confuse it with hearing.

Hearing what your partner is saying versus listening to them, are indeed very different.

Listening involves true dedication and your full attention to the words your partner is serving to you, as well as the tones and expressions that go along with those words.

Listening means that you are interested in learning more about what your partner is making an effort to tell you and making the emotional connection needed in order to achieve your relationship goals together.

Keep in mind that when in a relationship, all communication between partners has to be open,

honest, non-judgmental and patient, if you are to succeed and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship

Communication is not so complicated, once you understand what the right way communicating is,

and of course- what methods of communication works for you and your communication best.

Effective communication cannot happen on it's own or with the efforts of only one person.

Both you and your partner have to be open and willing to work as a team on improving the way you communicate,

so that you both can enhance your relationship skills and build a relationship where you both will have an understanding of who you are as individuals and what you both need and want.

Just remember to stay real with yourself and avoid painting a foggy and falsified picture- so that you will never be caught off guard with nay-painful surprises or stressful misunderstandings.

Tracking down your Soul Mate.. :D

Sure, we all dream about meeting the right person. . .the one that we are meant to be with forever.

Dreaming about it is all fun and easy, but the real question is, where do you find this soul mate of yours?

Fate? Well yes, if you believe in fate, then yes, it will have something to do with it, but not without effort on your part. Fate needs you to give it direction so that as a team, you can find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life.

The first thing you have to do before finding your soul mate, is finding yourself.

What qualities are important to you? What are your morals and beliefs? How do you show your affection and how do you expect it to be presented to you?

These are questions necessary for you to ask yourself before going out there.

Giving yourself an interview will make things clearer of what type of person you are really looking for, instead of just going on a blind search.

It is very common for a person to date people just for �dating�.

While dating is a fun and useful experience, it is not advisable to just go out with anyone just to have a date,

or to enter a relationship because you do not want to be alone.

When you go out on a date, it is important that you use that date as an opportunity to

observe and see if the person is someone you would like to see again and if they carry the qualities you are looking for.

If, for example, if you are searching for a person who is in touch with his or her romantic side, but go on a date with someone who likes acting rough at baseball games and loves hunting,

then you could pretty much see where the relationship would go.

You should be able to sense these qualities after a few dates.

Once you have realized that these dates will not lead to a relationship you have dreamed of,

then obviously the person is not your dream mate either, and it would be best if you stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations.

Continuing to date someone just because you entered a comfort zone or do not want to hurt their feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with,

not to mention waste precious time for both you and your dates.

Gently break it to him or her that you find them to be a very interesting and nice person,

but you feel like going solo for a while and then move on.

Tracking down your soul mate will require patience; so do not feel frustrated or hopeless if you do not find him or her in a certain amount of time. Good things take time to be brought together and you will come together when the time is right. The time becomes right when you look out for the right signs. Such signs would be:

1. Being strongly attracted to each other physically. 

2. Being strongly attracted to each others personalities. 

3. Having common interests. 

4. Sharing the same values. 

5. Major respect for one another. 

6. Someone who makes you feel truly special and worthy. 

7. Someone who puts in a great effort to show you their passion for you and the things that is important in your life. 

8. Meeting on the same emotional levels. 

These are some major and important signs to look out for when trying to track down your soul mate.

It will not be difficult to realize because you will know when things are right and the way you want it.

When you have found such a person, it is good for you to remember to take things one-step at a time.

Sometimes people jump in too fast and end up getting hurt or realizing they jumped to conclusions a little too soon.

Take it slow and observe how things are going.

See if the person who seems to be perfect in every way for you, remains to carry the same qualities as the relationship proceeds.

When time has proven that the two of you are truly compatible in ways you have always dreamed of,

then the relationship may go to the next level and the two of you can make a serious commitment and

start focusing on building a future together.

Like before, it is important that you pay attention to how you handle a commitment together and if you both agree on what kind of future the two of have in mind.

Staying on the same levels is a huge sign that you are with the right person.

Finding your soul mate will the best accomplishment you will ever make, but it does not stop there.

Finding the right person is just the beginning.

Keeping the right person takes work too, on both your parts.

The two of you will have to continue valuing each other for the rest of your lives, respecting each others individuality and dreams.

Refresh your memory of how the two of were brought together and why you both decided to make a commitment to one another.

As long as you keep the magic between you alive, your relationship will continue to grow the love and care you both never imagined could ever happen to you!

Hardest Things About Love..

1. flashing your smile to someone u don't want to see. 

2. bringing back the feeling u've learned to forget.

3. showing that u care. 

4. finding a way to mend a broken heart.

5. learning that u've been used by someone u truly love.

6. saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't. 

7. letting go of a person u've just learned to love. 

8. realizing that u love somebody u've just taken for granted.

9. realizing that u love the person u've just broken up with. 

10. waiting for promises you know he'll never keep.

11. saving ur love for someone who loves somebody else. 

12. reminiscing the good times u shared together. 

13. shielding ur heart to love somebody. 

14. trying to hide what u really feel. 

15. having a commitment w/ someone that u know would not last. 

16. trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes. 

17. sharing the one u love w/ someone else 

18. loving a person too much. 

19. giving up someone u never thought of giving up.

20. falling in love for the first time 

21. loving someone you haven't seen 

22. having the right love at the wrong time 

23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work. 

24. not being appreciated when u know u've given ur best. 

25. taking the risk to fall in love again. 

26. hiding ur relationship from someone else. 

27. controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend 

28. choosing between 2 persons whom u really love. 

29. finding out that u can never have the person u just let go of 

30. seeing the person u love with someone else Loving involves two phases.

These are just some things that everybody can relate...

Sad but true...

Letting GO..

It's often hard to forget someone we love....

Because deep inside, it's the last thing that we want to do.

It is easy to say, but it's always difficult to let go of something so precious to us.

When someone becomes part of us, that person gets a little piece of our life

that's never easy to fill with just anyone else.

That is the reason why it is always painful to let go of our feelings for that certain person.

What's sad about love?

It's when you happen to know that there's just no hope for you being together.

Yet you still hope and pray that something good might happen for both of you one day.

It's when your mind says Let go.... But your heart says Hold on....

If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past behind.

He/She can never be yours.

You simply have to accept that reality.

If you keep hoping for the things that could have been yours,

then you will forever be a prisoner of your own dreams.

You will never find true happiness because you are detached from reality.

We should remember that when we love, never stick to only what our heart feels.

Sometimes, using our brain is a necessity.

Why do some people choose to love a cheater rather than a good one?

Why do we always believe they're good when they're not?

Because in Love....

You can't see the bad reality of things unless you get hurt by them.

You'll suddenly realized how bad that person is.

That's the pathetic part of being in love.

Sometimes, even the worst person in the world can be the best person for your own belief.

It is not wrong to love, but....

The problem with loving too much is not the fact the one you love doesn't give a damn

or doesn't love you as much as you do,

but it is the question that will forever hurt you every time you ask:

"Where do I failed? " D

We read quotes everywhere, friends told us that

When we love...we shouldn't give everything.

We must leave something for ourselves, so that when the relationship ended

it won't hurt so much that all we have to do is cry.

It is easy to say..but once you're already in that kind of situation,

you won't notice what you have done to the person.

The only thing you care about is you're happy with that person.

Until the day when everything fails you realized nothing's left for you to hold.Love is a game....Sometimes, we miss and get hurt.

But that doesn't keep us from taking the chance again.Yes, it is hard to accept that the person whom you think can

give you all the definition of happiness have to go.

But you can't change the past.We can't go back and manipulate things to the way we want it to happen.Because life would be meaningless and boring if we get all the things we want.But we can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life.We all make mistakes, and we will have bad days, but as long as we let our past go

we will have a beautiful and bright future ahead of us.

Knowing that each day, we will learn something so that we keep growing to be 

a better person.

Life is like a rope, twined in all it's complexities and yet weave into one marvelous 

stream, that we have the chance to use something from.

Letting go is about learning that we have a choice.

We can choose to be hopeful rather than hopeless.

We can choose to act from faith rather than react from fear.

And we can choose to enjoy life rather than merely survive it.

There's no right or wrong when one choose to be happy.

it's just a battle between one's own happiness and the judgement of others.

As time goes by, life has a way of rearranging itself.

People enter your life, and inevitably, they leave as well.

Things have a tendency to happen that can turn our world upside down.

We’ll come to realize eventually, that even though things are different, we are as well.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people.

But we never forget them.

And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.

Confusing..

This world is so confusing....

You're waiting for the one you Love....

When the one who Loves you is waiting for you.

But here's much more confusing than that.

He Loves you,You Love him,

but for some reason fate doesn't allow both you to be together.

Why is it that when you Love....

You look like a fool?

Is it because you became wrong, when you're already right?

Is it because you became frail, when to think, you're very strong?

Is it a because you give everything without asking anything in return?

Or is it because you're happy even when you're hurt?

Love can give you much pain....Can make you cry....

And can even destroy your life....

But why do we still want to be in-love?

Which is harder?

Teaching yourself to love the person who loves you?

Or forcing the one you love to love you?

Love can never be wrong.....

Sometimes, we blame the situation or even the person.

But no matter who we blame,if it really isn't meant for us....

It just wouldn't be.

WE SHOULD:

....never expect,

....never demand,

....never assume.

WE SHOULD KNOW:

....our limits where we stand our role.

DON'T:

....get affected,

....get jealous,

....get paranoid.

WE'LL JUST:

Go with the flow and stay happy.

Love Is....

Love is something which cannot be overuled nor enslaved...

nor dictated or mandated.. insisted nor begged or obliged and required...

None can make it follow or disobey one's rule...

For, love itself is its master and its slave.... 

Love says: "Don't tell me when or who or how to love...

for, it is me who holds your heart..

I give your heart a beat that you may breathe..

I give your heart the song that you may hear music...

and I give you love, myself... that you may smile...and live..! "

Love gives life its meaning ..

significance to one's being ....and worth / sense for living....

Love never gives a guarantee of permanence.

But it always gives hope.

Love doesn't promise forever, 

but it gives us faith to believe.

Love makes us cry,

but the tears that it brings can breathe a new life,

a new beginning and a new hope to those who believe....

Love isn't love until you give away. 

But love will only have life 

when it is shared by two people who believe in its meaning, 

by people who share one goal, one commitment, 

and by people who are selflessly loyal to each other.

Sometimes, things are not what they seem to be...

Oftentimes, we regard something as it is, merely based on our own perception,

way of thinking and understanding failing to realise that every spoken word may have different meanings...

every shown gestures may signify differently and every message may have different sense / interpretation.

More often that not... we face disappointments because we perceive things the way they shouldn't be...

interpret words wrongly.... Sad to say the fact that sometimes,

we fail to see the truth that lies deep in one's heart, .... 

When I say blue, it doesn't mean a hue...

If I say I like orange I may not mean the fruit...

and when I say I love Thee... it doesn't mean...

a You or a He must spare some love for me....!

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again

and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new,

What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it

and see the broken places as long as I lived..!!

We enjoy warmth because we been cold..

We appreciate light because we been in darkness..

By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness....!!

Life at least, allows us to live...

experience existence that we need...

at times, it's really tough but at least we have some times to laugh...

we make mistakes that enable us to learn... and live a life full of memories...

sometimes, good .. at times bad but not as bad as not having them ....

10 Ways to Reduce the Hurt Caused By Breakup..

A breakup is one of the most painful times of in your life. This pain is more if we are dumped compared to the pain experienced when we dump someone. For many of us, the pain of breakup is very intense. Here are some ways to avoid pain after the breakup.

1. Avoid your ex completely:

The most important thing to keep in mind right after the breakup is that spending time with your ex would constantly remind you of all the good times of your relationship and hurt you even more. If you call, email, text or try to meet your ex constantly, you will be termed as a stalker and lose even the remotest of the chances that the two of you have of being together once again. The best possible way is to completely steer clear of your ex and try and avoid communication among the two of you.

2. Allow yourself to feel pain:

The first result of a breakup is intense pain. If you are suffering a breakup, don’t avoid the pain, but to realise that the pain is good for you. It is natural to feel pain when you lose someone who had a lot of importance in your life. When you feel pain, it is almost like a sign saying that you are on the process of healing. There is no need to panic in such a situation. The best advice to overcome the pain would be to give in to it and let it have a positive impact in your life. The pain post breakup can be a source of inspiration for you to do something better, that you have always wanted yourself to do.

3. Keep yourself busy:

The best way to avoid post breakup blues and thoughts about your ex is to keep yourself busy all the time. The mind will not think if you do not give it time to wander. Keep yourself constantly involved in different types of activities. Pick up those activities that you love doing. This will remove your focus from the breakup to the activities you love. Activities will not only freshen up your mind and relieve you of the pain but they will also help in causing a diversion for your mind and would keep you away from thinking or even trying to keep yourself from contacting your ex.

4. Speak about your feelings only to a close friend:

It is a bad idea to talk about your breakup to each and every friend of yours as they will eventually start avoiding you, thinking that you have nothing to talk except the breakup. On the other hand it would be a wise decision to pick up one friend who you think will understand your thoughts and your feelings and will listen patiently to all that is on your mind. Remember that your close friends can be your greatest support system when it comes to breakup and they would honestly give you the best advice. Use this support system to the fullest and talk to your best friend when you feel post breakup blues.

5. Pen down your thoughts:

Maintaining a journal post breakup is a good idea. Writing is one of the good ideas to vent out all the hidden pain, frustration and anger that the breakup brings with it. Maintaining a journal would release lot of hidden pain from your heart and head. After you recover from the breakup, it would also be an insight as to how much you have evolved as a person. There is no substitute for writing when it comes to getting out one’s feeling as you can keep editing your writing about your hurt.

6. Meditation:

Meditation is an old technique to relax a tense mind. Closing our eyes and forcibly extracting each and every thought from our mind is the essence of meditation. These thoughts would be very difficult to ignore but we need to give ourselves the time to clear the clutter in our mind. Only then will there be any scope to sort out ourselves and move ahead in life for the better.

7. Take care of your family:

Your family is one of the biggest support system that you may have in your life. They would stand by you through thick and thin and would try their best to help you cope with the post breakup pain. Keeping yourself constantly involved with your family would not just keep you busy but would also ensure that you have people to stand by you when you have those gut wrenching feelings of grief and that you give them quality time and bond with them. Your family understands your needs more than anyone else.

8. Throw away all memories:

One of the ways to try and forget your ex is by throwing away each and every of those things that you may feel is reminding you of him/her. It is a difficult thing to do but it would be a start to forget all those times the two of you spent together. If you had been given a ring during the relationship, it is always a good idea to give the ring back than keep it yourself to dig up the scars of the broken relationship. Giving expensive gifts back after the breakup would also show to your ex how respectful you are of your own self and that you did not remain in the relationship for the expensive gifts that you received.

9. Focus on your career:

Try and make your career the most important aspect in your life. There is no bigger a high than being successful in life. Efforts to build your career would keep you busy for something that you will reap rewards in the future. It would also show everyone that you are not a coward as you did not cower down after a sour relationship. Many people hide themselves under the sheets and lose out on their life and eventually lose out on their respect too. However, the ones who emerge successful after a broken relationship are the ones who are respected the most.

10. Give yourself time:

It is essential to give yourself enough time. You must realize that nobody recovers from the grief of a breakup in a jiffy. It takes days and months before seeing any signs of recovery. It all depends on the type of person you are and how you can handle negativity in your life. Do not try to go in another relationship right after a breakup. It is important to think clearly and give yourself enough time before getting back into the dating scene after a breakup.

These are some important aspects that one has to keep in mind after a breakup.The main task is to keep one’s pride and self-respect intact without letting anyone take advantage of you.